Oh, the Irony
by Sadistic Cupcake
Summary: You're here! Please, come in, come in! Everyone's waiting for you and dinner's nice and hot on the table. I worked on it for hours, so we wouldn't want it to become cold like your body will be-! I mean...become too cold for your liking! ...Shh...did you hear that...? -Warning: Yaoi, Yuri, sexual, alcohol content, implied mpreg, language, blood, and gore- (Kaito/Len, Luka/Hatsune)
1. Chapter 1

_Disclaimer: My ginger and I own nothing but the plot._

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><p>"Aww, but Mom," a young boy with white hair and dual colored irises complained, "do we really have to go to this dinner party thing? I mean, really, who wants to spend all of the time in uncomfortable clothing and feel like you're in a can of sardines?"<p>

His blonde, aquamarine eyed mother looked up from his task of fixing his son's hair and stared at him in the mirror. "You get to see your Auntie Rin, 'Aunt' Luka, 'Auntie' Hatsune and Zatsune, 'Auntie' Gakuko, 'Auntie' Haku, 'Aunt' Meiko, 'Auntie' Gumi, Uncle Akaito, 'Uncle' Gakupo, 'Uncle' Meito, 'Uncle' Luki, 'Uncle' Gumo, and 'Uncle' Mikuo." He took a breath when his run-on sentence was finished and spoke again. "You get to see the people that you love."

"Saw them last week," the little boy replied with a chuckled.

The blonde mother raised an eyebrow at his son before looking back down at the snowy hair. "Piko, 'family' and family is family, no matter what. The more time you spend with them, the better it is. You never know when something might happen…"

Piko frowned, even though his mother couldn't see. "Why do you always talk like that?"

The door to the bathroom that Piko and his mother were in creaked open and let through a tall man with blue eyes and locks. "Why does who talk like what?" He walked to where the other two males were, giving them a family kiss on their cheeks before getting a piece of the mirror to work at his necktie.

"Oh, hey, Daddy. I was just asking Mommy why he talked about death the way he does…"

The taller man looked down at the blonde when he paused his workings on the tie, his eyes filled with sadness and a small bit of worry. "Len…really? Again?"

"What do you mean 'again', Kaito," he said with a huff toward the slightly older man. "I didn't even mean it like that."

Piko cocked his head slightly. "Then what did you mean it as?"

Len repositioned his son's head back in the same spot it was in before it was tilted and muttered softly, "keep your neck still." Mutually, both father and son silently let the topic drop. They both knew fully well that the blonde wasn't going to continue with it since he got so quiet.

There was a lengthy, silent moment before any of them spoke again. It was Len who had broken it when he was through with spiking parts of Piko's hair after completing the task of brushing it. "Done. Now, go get your clothes on."

The young boy gave a quick jerk of the head for a nod and scurried out of the bathroom, a towel around his waist as he did. His mother and father, on the other hand, stayed in the bathroom to finish getting ready themselves. The shorter of the two used some of the hair gel that was left on his hands to help his somewhat spiked bangs before washing it off and fixing his small ponytail while eyeing the blue haired man. He couldn't suppress the smile that formed upon his lips as he watched.

The older man pulled the accessory every direction possible and in different spots to try and correct whatever mistake he made tying it. He glared at the tie and let out a low growl, saying under his breath, "Fucking tie..."

Len let out a chuckle while making Kaito let go of the item of disgust and working at it himself. "I don't even see the reason why you're getting this dressed up," he stated, indicating to the man's choice of clothing; which conceived of pieces of fabric that seemed to be overly formal for just having a get together dinner with mostly friends. "It's not like we're going to a funeral or anything, my dear Kaito." With a seductive smile and swift pull after getting the chaotic knot out of it, Len took the blue colored, silk necktie and slung it around his neck like it was a scarf, effectively making the older man forget that he said something about a funeral and pulling him closer by the waist.

"Y'know," he spoke quieter than before, a slight smirk upon his features. "If you keep pulling stunts like that, we're gonna be late."

"I have no idea what you're talking about."

"You act as if you're sex deprived."

"Oh, I am? I didn't notice."

"Hmph, 'didn't notice' my ass, Len." Kaito said in a chuckle, bringing said male closer to himself and leaning down near enough to make their noses touch.

With a smile set, the blonde tilted his head some and brought the blue haired man into a kiss. As he let his hands wander, they came to rest on the waist of the slightly loose, black, dress pants and soon began to work on the button and the zipper on them after rubbing the palm of his hand against the forming bulge enclosed behind the clothing. Len spoke in a quiet voice against the other's lips when they broke their kiss. "I see that you didn't mind my actions at all, though." He moved his head so that he was resting it sideways against the expanding and constricting chest touching him, being able to hear the heartbeat that was extremely fast paced at the moment before going down to his knees.

"You weren't even looking," the taller man taunted playfully, holding back a groan, closing his eyes, and beginning to bite his lower lip while the blonde pumped him to get him to reach complete hardness after making full contact when he went pass the clothing barriers. The man had shifted his legs earlier to avoid the possibility of his clothes pooling around his ankles. That'd be a hard one to explain to their son if he wasn't able to get everything back to looking normal.

When the words hit his ears, Len's pumps became slower and slower until they threatened to stop entirely, which was clearly being showed by the blue haired man that he wasn't enjoying the sluggish torture he was being given suddenly, and looked back up. "Would you like me to continue what I started? 'Cause, I mean, I could stop right now, let you take care of your situation, and abandon you to go continue helping our son get ready."

Kaito gave involuntarily thrust against the other's hand. "D-Don't make a mountain out of a molehill... I was only trying to joke." There was a moment of silence before he spoke again. "Fine, tell. Is that a better way to put it?" He asked, rolling his eyes slightly.

With a mischievous smile the other started up again until he heard thumps and the floor creaking. The smile quickly faded, though it wasn't as if the older man could even notice. "Sorry."

The blue haired man opened his eyes and looked down at his blonde in confusion. His breath hitched while watching Len pump his member until the last possible second, before licking its head to clean a little precum, to get the pants pulled back, zipped, and buttoned up. He was so confused that it wasn't even funny and it didn't help that his mind was just swimming in heat accompanied by the loud thudding of his heart in his ears. He observed the younger male with a raised, blue eyebrow as Len got back up off his own knees and went over to the sink to wash his hands. "The hell?" His question was answered when he heard the door to the bathroom squeak open to let in the snowy haired boy and he quickly went to acting like he was fixing his hair, hoping their son couldn't tell that something had been going on. Which was probably unlikely since he was still pretty young but there were still a chance that he might notice.

"Little cock tease," he whispered, not noticing what their son had chose to go to the dinner in.

"Wasn't trying to be one on purpose." Len softly replied, rinsing off the layer of lathered soap on his hands and being clueless to the chosen fabrics as well.

"Mommy," Piko's tiny voice rang out and having a smile on his immature face. "Can you help me? I'm almost ready."

The blonde chuckled at the thought that his son was going to be ready before the both of them. "Of course, just gimme a quick second," he answered and dried his hands after turning off the faucet of the sink, turning around and finally seeing what the boy had picked out to wear to the occasion. He stared at the long, poofy and fluffy, sea green colored dress and the matching sea green mini heels and purse. "P-Piko…"

Kaito turned to see what made said blonde stutter and could only stare as well as be speechless at the sight of his one and only son.

"Yes?"

"Where…did you get those?" Len indicated to the dress and its accessories.

"Auntie Rin."

No more trips to Rin's place without one of us staying there anymore, he thought. "Okay, but…why are you wearing them? You know we have a party to go to."

"I wanna wear it for the party!"

Piko's father's eyes went wide as if he were just given an ice cream factory while his mother's face was just as blank as it could be, like nothing seemed to compute. "I'm sorry, Piko, but no. Go get your dinner clothes on."

"But…these are my dinner clothes. So, really, I already have them on."

Kaito had to hold back a laugh and a smile at how his son used Len's talent of finding loopholes in everything and threw it back at him. The blonde noticed it as well. "Your other dinner clothes. Y'know, the ones that have pants included."

The boy pouted. "But Mommy…"

"Don't argue with me."

He sighed and headed for the door, saying before he left, "Fine…I'll go get my unprettiful clothes on… 'Least I'm not wearing a necktie like a scarf."

The blue haired man let out a short laugh before wrapping his arms around the only short male left in the room, who could only stare at the door that let out his cross dressed little boy. "He's more like his mama."

"Like I go around wanting to be in a fucking dress. Plus, you've been in a dress a few times, too."

He shook his head slightly, kind of ignoring what the younger male pointed out. "I'm guessing you're not through with him."

Nodding, Len turned around in Kaito's hold and looked up at him to look at his blue eyes. "Uh huh. Just like I'm not done with you." He got down on his knees once again and began to work at the button and zipper of the dress pants once more. "As much as I love you yanking on my hair when I do this, I have to restrict you from doing so this time," he added faintly as he gently rubbed the man's now obvious bulge through the boxers that were being worn when the pants let it be exposed and looked up; seeing the expression of confusion and pleasure on the man's face. "I put in a shitload of work on my hair today. I'm sorry that I don't want it fucked up."

"Here," Kaito instructed when he had an idea, helping the blonde to his feet again and leading them over to a different part of the bathroom.

"Kaito, what are-?" He realized what the blue haired man had going through his mind, but he didn't understand what the difference was. He still had nothing to hold on to. "What are you going to-?"

With a bang of the toilet lid hitting its connected seat, he sat down and guided Len back to his knees. "I'll claw the wall to death, if I have to."

If this is comfortable for Kaito, whatever, I guess, he thought. "Okay." He grasped the two different layers of fabric in his hands, pulling them down until the man's erection was freed from its confinement. Hearing the breath Kaito let out, Len released the clothes and left his right hand rest on the man's hip and carefully wrapped his left hand around the throbbing cock. He gave it a few pumps and was more than happy that he left his hand where it was and that he hadn't decided to take it in yet. The man had given a violent thrust up in response to the contact.

I can only hope he doesn't choke me, the younger male thought before crawling on his knees between the blue haired man's legs more until he was just down right hovering over it.

Kaito rolled his hips up to try and indicate to the blonde that he was starting to become impatient as well as attempt to get his aching member into the other's mouth. Holding back an annoyed growl as he saw that both his endeavors were to no avail since Len moved away, the man grasped the younger male's chin with a firm, yet gentle, hold and lead him back to his problem that needed to be fix and rather fast at that. "Quick," he panted, letting go of the chin in his hold. "Before the boy gets back and sees what we're doing…"

"Oh, 'the boy'?" The other asked after licking the head, tasting more of the bitter substance. "Isn't that a little harsh? I mean, he is our son… Our cross dressing son."

The blue haired man had an expression locked on his face that told the blonde that he didn't give two shits to what he was saying. "I'm surprised that I can speak in full sentences."

"At the moment."

With that, Len allowed the rather long and thick organ to slowly into his mouth and stopped a little less than half way; where he felt comfortable for the time being. He breathed in through his nose before he started to leisurely bob his head and use his hand to pump, picking up his pace and inching more and more inside as well while he continued. He was waiting for the moment to come along that he felt like he was ready to finally deep throat the blue haired man.

The man allowed himself to only breathe erratically through his nose and bite his lip to hold back any noises that he might have made, clenching the rod that held their differently colored, striped decorated towels in his right hand and uselessly clawing at the slightly picture filled wall with his left. The last time they had done this spontaneously was back when the blonde was still fourteen and had gotten a hold of some punch that was spiked by Meiko and/or possibly Haku at a Halloween party they all went to… Come to think of it, which was probably the worse time ever to, either a day or two days after Halloween, both males got together and had been ever since.

Letting the stiff member escape from his mouth and hand, the blonde poked out his tongue between his slick, slightly pink lips and tongued every place possible he could upon what he had his sights set on as the man below bit his lip harder to suffocate a groan that erupted when he lost the feel of Len's warm, wet mouth around him. While rolling his eyes up, seeing the expression of pleasure, he abruptly halted his treatment, bringing his tongue back to where it belonged. "You just _love_ becoming the ice cream, don't you Kaito?"

The other released his possibly bruised and swollen lip from the clutches of his teeth, allowing himself to pant. Doing so, he said through the puffs of air, "So close...don't stop, Len."

"Answer me," he gently demanded and just barely pumped the erect organ that was in front of him with his left hand while the right traveled down farther to just barely fondle the man's testicles for the time being.

The other's hand, that wasn't being used to hold on to the towel rod, covered his mouth to keep what could have been a detectable groan hushed. With his eyes shut, he removed his hand slightly and found his voice. "Don't...stop," he panted against his hand.

"Then answer me," Len teased before blowing cool air on the hard cock.

"Fine," he growled out of frustration.

As close to an answer I'm gonna get, he thought before removing his left hand deep throating Kaito, only pausing once to relax his esophagus some more. Soon enough he began to bob his head again, allowing his fondling to become more so than before. The blonde knew that the other was close, according to the reactions from before. The closer Kaito was to an orgasm, God forbid if anything were to stop before feeling release.

All of the sensations that were happening to the blue hair man...he couldn't handle it anymore. With one last shove of his member to go down Len's throat, feeling the back of it, and a gentle yet firm stroke of his testicles, he bit his hand to stifle whatever noise that escaped from inside him, which he wasn't sure of what was what, and clung to the rod that held the towels for dear life when he reached his climax. While riding out his orgasm, he gently thrust into the boy's mouth as he shook slightly.

Swallowing all the seed that Kaito had to offer, the blonde cleaned the head of the softening member with quick, but effective stroke of the tongue before retreating, letting it fall from his mouth, and pulling and zipping up clothing. He stood up and straddled his lover's lap after gently forcing them together as he moved the hand from the man's mouth, replacing it with his own and having his mouth open slightly.

Kaito, after thrusting his tongue into the awaiting mouth, began to explore the familiar, moist cavern and tasted himself wherever the pinkish-red organ would travel. Rubbing his against Len's, he enticed him into a playful battle; one of tongues. Needing air, the elder broke their kiss and opened his eyes, making dark blue and aquamarine colored eyes meet, and smiled. He gave the other a lingering peck on the lips.

Smiling back at the male below him, Len got off of him and held out a hand to offer to help the other up, doing so when it was accepted. He turned his back to the man and made his way to the door, after cleaning his hands again and washing his mouth, before turning around, a smiling upon his features. "Don't think that this's the end of it for today, Kaito," he stated and took off the tie from around his neck, turning around and placing it on the hooks behind the door. "There's always later tonight."

With that he opened, went through, and closed the door to go check on their son, leaving Kaito with his imagination.

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><p><em>Criticism is welcome. Constructive or not, doesn't matter. It's just nice to know what others think before continuing. (:<em>


	2. Chapter 2

A woman with long, pink hair that had been pulled back into a low ponytail, black slacks and nylons, and a tight, white long sleeved sweater that bunched up at the neck and hung low, showing a fair amount of her cleavage, stood in the kitchen of her home that she shared with another female who was bubbly in personality. She was in front of a stove as she worked at getting different types of food prepared. Her dark blue eyes darted around to the different pots, pans, and plates as she cooked; making sure that everything was okay and not otherwise. The woman jumped when she felt something cold at her throat and froze.

"Relax, Luka, it's only me putting on your necklace," a voice said before it let out a giggle. The voice and giggle came from the other female that Luka lived with. "Geez, by the way you reacted, someone woulda thought I put a knife to your throat!"

The taller woman let out a sigh and slightly did as she was told as she continued to work with her dishes. "Thank you, Miku, but don't do that to me when I'm so focused, please. You scared me shitless."

"I'm sorry," the aquamarine haired female apologized sincerely, pouting as she did so. "You didn't seem like it and I said something before I did anything!" She sighed, commenting, "Oh well, you didn't hear me, you didn't hear me," before giving the pink haired woman a kiss on the cheek and carefully hugging her.

Luka shook her head and smiled from amusement. "Now that that's over..."

"Why are you always cooking?" the girl with aquamarine eyes questioned, cutting off her girlfriend in mid-thought.

The elder raised a pink eyebrow. "I am not 'always' cooking! Besides, we have dinner guests, which I think we need to start going to a restaurant when we all get together..."

"Why?" she whined.

"Because it's our turn this month, Miku. That's why," Luka commented, stirring the spring onion soup that she, at the last minute, decided to make.

The younger of the two raised an eyebrow before she spoke. "Whaddya mean it's 'our turn'?" She let herself get sidetracked when the smell of the soup filled her nose, letting out an approved hum vibrate in her throat.

"We alternate making dinner for us. By 'we', I mean all of us that get together. Of course, you're not really around a lot since you have more responsibilities for the combination of school and work." The female with pink hair shrugged when she was done with her reply as she continued to cook.

Miku giggled, putting her arms around Luka's waist and resting her chin on her shoulder. "At least you're not killing me over it. Speaking of killing, I seem to have noticed you singing along to songs and music videos that include someone with your hair color, a sharp and pointy object, and killing a chick with my hair color." She stared at the knife with a large blade that the other had decided to pick up as she spoke.

"Miku...I just like the songs, and they just happen to have the same hair. Besides, it's not like they're actually killing." She replied, stabbing the sharp knife into the cutting board on the counter, over by her right.

"...Did I do something to seriously upset you? If I did, I'm really sorry, Luka..."

The woman with pink hair sighed. "Miku, that's not what I mean... Everyone has their fair share of doing creepy shit... I mean; you nearly gave me a fucking heart attack when you were a bloody fucking skeleton on Halloween..."

"Well, what's more appropriate than being a skeleton?"

"'What's more appropriate?' You were a young teenager! You shouldn't have been, or be, going around as a skeleton and literally scaring the crap outta people." She felt the younger female let her go when the timer dinged and bent over to open the oven, bringing out the cake that was going to be their desert after putting on oven mits. "Any who, it's nearly time for everyone to be getting here... Can you get the door, whenever it rings?"

"Sure, but people thought I was cool as a skeleton, thank you." She pouted again, sticking out her lower lip.

Luka chuckled while rolling her eyes. "I'm sure they did, Miku-. Ow!"

"You okay?" The aquamarine haired female asked; her eyes filled with worry as she watched the other female. "What happened? Why did you say 'ow'?"

The other frowned and bit her lip, her eyes closed, for a moment. "Calm down...all I did was accidently burn my finger." She used her hand that didn't have the sore digit on it to close the door to the oven. "I took off the gloves and touched the cake pan when I got distracted by answering you. I'm fine, though. Honest." Luka smiled before resting the finger on her lower lip to try and soothe the pain and turning back to her chaos of the different dishes of food.

"Aw, I'm sorry," the shorter female replied, gently taking a hold of the other's wrist and placing the injured finger to her own lips before letting it slip into her mouth a little and tasting the different flavors of the foods/ingredients that it had been upon as she carefully moved her tongue around the injury.

What the hell is she doing, Luka wondered as she turned her head and stared at Miku with slightly wide eyes. "M-Miku..."

The girl looked up at her with innocent eyes as she continued to suck on and lick the burned finger before she made the said digit retreat from the moist, warm cavern. The elder stared at her finger for a short moment before she spoke up again. "You do realize that now I have to wash my hands again, right?"

Miku stared at her lover with a blank expression as she replied, "Ugh, you just totally ruined the mood!"

The other chuckled. "Did I?" She questioned with a smile, kissing the aquamarine eyed girl on the lips. "But, I would love to just lift you up on the counter," doing what she said herself, the elder saw the surprised look on the other's face when she was placed on an empty counter top. "Put my hands on your thighs, like so, and let them go up higher so they can be under the ridiculously short, black skirt that you decided to wear tonight." She spoke in a quiet voice while gently rubbing circles with her thumbs on Miku's inner thighs and gradually moving her face to the younger, making their foreheads touch and noticing the slight blush that crept up on the aquamarine haired female. "Maybe you can start it up again... You wouldn't mind, would you?"

The blush on the younger woman's face got a shade darker when she realized how close the other had become in general while she shook her head and wrapped her arms around the elder's neck and her legs around her waist. She leaned in and brought them both into a more deeper kiss, but she couldn't help but notice that Luka had started to rub her hands on her thighs in an up and down motion. They'd touch the top of her black, nylon socks that went up just a little past her knees and inch their way closer to her panties and her womanhood. Pulling herself closer to the pink haired female, Miku felt her large breasts against her own, which were much smaller, her body pressed against her, and the woman's hands become even closer to herself than before.

The pink haired female gently used her tongue to run across the other's lower lip, asking, more like begging, for entrance. She almost let the organ practically thrust in when she was given the permission she was seeking. Luka couldn't help but smile into their kiss when she heard and swallowed the moan that came out of the younger woman as their tongues dance, not battled but danced in a sense, and got reacquainted with one another's tastes.

"Man, wish I had someone who'd shove their tongue down my throat..."

Both Luka and Miku jumped and pulled away from one another from the extra female voice that flowed through the room. The eldest out of all three of them only stared at the newly entered woman. "The hell...? Miku, when the fuck did you get here?"

The Miku that she was speaking to at the moment did nothing but shrug as she opened the fridge. The woman was hungry for Christ's sake and she slept through both breakfast and lunch before she had an hour to be at Luka's house. At least thirty minutes to get ready; take a few minutes or so, and then another thirty minutes, give a few minutes, to get to the place. She'd been in too much of a hurry to let the thought cross her mind of getting a little something in her stomach. Though, in all of her hurry, she was still able to grab herself a cup of coffee before she left her home that she shared with her brother, Mikuo.

The pink haired woman closed the fridge door as soon as it opened with a growl and earned herself a glare from bright red eyes through black hair that hung in her face. "Pissy when interrupted, are we?"

The Miku that was sitting on the counter giggled a nervous giggle. "D-Did I forget to tell you that Zatsune was already here, Luka?" She questioned in a small voice.

Luka sighed, showing that she was completely annoyed at the moment. "Yeah...ya did, Hatsune," she replied, immediately switching to call her lover by her last name since the other Miku was there. It wasn't that she had a hate for the black haired girl, it was just that sometimes the way Zatsune said or did things would go straight to your last nerve if caught off gaurd.

"Hm... Maybe I should see if the little blonde that's comin' tonight would be up for something new," the black haired female thought out loud, changing the topic.

Hatsune cocked her head slightly at her sister. "Blonde? Which one? There's at least three that we know of and Neru's not gonna make it."

"Plus," the pink haired woman intercepted. "Isn't she with Haku?"

Zatsune shook her head. "No, no, not Neru, and she is, by the by. I mean the one with the aquamarine eyes, like my twin over there."

The other two women in the room just stared at the girl with the black hair and bright red eyes. It was Luka that got the courage to speak. "Len? But he's with Kaito! He'd be so upset if Len left him... Also, they had Piko together!"

The woman by the fridge glared at her sister's love. "Not him. I speak of his twin sister."

"R-Rin?" The other two stuttered in unison.

The other rolled her eyes. "No, some other chick named 'Lin'."

"Doesn't she like Gakupo?" The aquamarine haired woman asked. There was a moment of silence before Hatsune spoke again to try and change the subject that she had brought up, since no one would answer her question. "So, um, Zatsune...where's our brother? I didn't think to ask you when you came."

"Oh, Mikuo..." The woman rolled her eyes. "The feminine bastard was still getting ready when I was leaving. He's had since freakin' three in the afternoon to get ready."

The pink haired female frowned. "But, dinner's at six thirty and it's almost six now..."

"Exactly my point. I, being the one who practically slept all day, had an hour to do this." She indicated to the outfit she wore. It consisted of a black skirt, that looked like it was even shorter than her twin's, if that was even possible, a basic, blood red with black trimming, button up, short sleeved shirt that barely covered her shoulders and let her navel be exposed, which contrasted Hatsune's version of the shirt that actually covered her shoulders and navel, a pair of black, nylon socks that were the same length as her sister's, a black necktie that she stole from Mikuo, and necklaces that were chain like and had crosses in random spots. "Oh, and my makeup, but, of course, that's just mascara, eyeliner, then done."

The eldest female let out a satisfied huff. "See? I'm not the only one who doesn't take hours to get ready, Hatsune."

"At least I don't take as long as Mikuo!"

"Speaking of which," the woman with the bright red eyes cut in while looking out the window. "I think I see him walking to the door right now."

Both Luka and Zatsune shook their heads as they listened to Hatsune yell, "I got it," dash to and opened the door, and heard a happy squeal of "Mikuo," and said brother have the air crushed out of his lungs while saying, "Hi Hatsune."

The black haired female looked up at the other woman left in the kitchen. "How do you live with that?"

"Very carefully," she chuckled.

"Oh, by the way, weren't you cooking dinner?" Zatsune asked as she raised a black eyebrow.

"Shit!"

((|))((|))

A little while later, many friends were under Luka and Hatsune's roof and making themselves at home. Kaito was sitting on the couch with Len in his lap as they both talked with Rin and Gakupo, Luki, Luka's younger brother, was arguing with Mikuo about which one of them was 'manlier' as they stood in the middle of the large living room, Hatsune was helping Luka getting every last thing perfect in the kitchen and in the dining room, Haku was sitting on the coffee table and faced Meiko, who sat in one of the recliners, as they both chatted and drank some wine, for now anways; Gakuko, Gakupo's little sister, Zatsune, and Akaito, Kaito's younger brother, were fighting over Lord knows what, Meito, Meiko's little brother, was just sitting next to Haku on the coffee table as he smiled, listening to their conversation, and Gumi was obsessing over Piko and his 'cuteness'.

They were all one big happy 'family'/family and nothing was going to change that. They all stuck together, no matter what and it was going to stay like that.


	3. Chapter 3

_My apologies to you readers that've been around since the starting of _Oh, the Irony_, but its back! _Auburn Sakura_ and I have _finally_ got everything settled, so this fic _should_ continue to be updated whenever I can do so unless there's a block that comes along._

_Love you guys and, again, I'm so sorry this has been pushed back like this._

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><p>"Leeeeeeeeeeeeeennnnnnnnnnnnn ," Gumi whined with a pout when she found the blonde. "Piko told me that you told him that he couldn't wear a dress that he picked out to wear tonight!"<p>

"Okay? What about it?" He asked, raising one of his blonde eyebrows. He really couldn't see a reason to make a fuss over it. It was only a dress, plus his _son_ wanted to wear it. Not his _daughter_, but _son_. If Piko wanted to when he got older, he could cross dress all he wanted, but since he was rather young and still needed to be taken care of by him and Kaito, he'd have to wait for a while.

The woman with the short, green hair crossed her arms over her chest, which was covered by, as well as the rest of her body, by a black, knee length dress with the circular disks sewn on the top half, where her breasts and natural waist line were, to make it look like it sparkled when lighting where to hit her just right, and let out a huff. "He would've looked adorable, Len! I mean, look at him!" She gently pulled the boy over by is arm to stand in front of her. Piko fixed the arm of his purple, long sleeved, button up shirt, that looked exactly like his father's dark blue one and his mother's red one, after Gumi was through with pulling him around. "You look too, Kaito!"

Doing what he was told by the female, he older man moved slightly so he could see around his blonde. "Okay, I'm looking."

"Gumi, we don't see where you're getting at. All we see is our little boy." Len chuckled as Kaito smiled when they both saw the pout on Piko's face.

She gently held the boy's chin between her right thumb and index finger. "Look at this face and look at him! He's one of those oober cute little peoples that can pull off a dress! Like you, Len! ...Well, you _were_ little, but you can still pull it off." She gave him a wink. "You've done quite a bit of cross dressing in your day."

The blonde could feel his face become hot. It wasn't from anger or embarrassment, though...or maybe it was and he wasn't sure. Whatever the case, he wasn't in the least liking the fact Gumi was doing what she was doing, he was definitely sure of that much. "Gumi, I've had enough..."

"Go a little too far?"

He only nodded his response.

"Okay, I was just say-."

"Gumi..."

"We're gone!"

Len sighed when his friend and his son disappeared from his sight and to another part of the living room. "What am I ever going to do with all of you?"

Kaito let out a chuckle. "Put up with us?"

"That's one way."

"I SWEAR TO GOD, IF YOU ALL DON'T SHUT THE HELL UP AND SIT DOWN AT THE GOD DAMN FUCKING TABLE, I'M GONNA KICK ALL OF YOUR ASSES OUTTA MY HOUSE," Luka's angry voice echoed through the room. She watched everyone obey and sit in the chairs at the large dining table before she started to serve everyone's food to them.

Hatsune cocked her head slightly as she watched the woman with the pink hair serve. "How did you know that would work, Luka?"

Rolling her eyes, the 'waitress' set down the last dish of food, her plate, and looked at the Miku that belonged to her. "Maybe I'm psychic," she said as she cocked her own head sideways and began smiling a small, creepy smile while she sat down between the aquamarine haired girl and her own brother, Luki.

Seeing the face that her girlfriend made, reminded her of the face that a singer did in their song 'Love Disease' which made the female freak out and start flailing her arms while everyone else just stared at Luka. "HOLY FUCKING SHIT…!"

Zatsune was the only one who seemed to appreciate the face that the woman made. "Heh...nice face there, girly... I might cut it off for part of my collection that I wanna start. Willing to donate?" The black haired female let an evil looking smirk grow upon her features as she admired the expression, gently swirling the spoon around in her soup.

Luka let out a chuckle as soon as her expression was gone before she started eating, which made everyone seem to relax again as they began to consume their food too. Well, everyone minus Hatsune. She was still flailing her arms around like she was some kind of winged baby animal that was trying to take off and fly away. "So, how is everyone?"

Mikuo chuckled his answer of "Oh, I'm good," while watching his aquamarine haired sister flail about with a smirk on his lips as he ate the spring onion soup that was in front of him that was made for he and his two sisters.

Akaito, who sat on the other side of Luki, could only grin as he lowered his fork that held a bite of ramen beef pie, which was made for he and Kaito, back down to his plate, saying "I'm okay," along with Gakuko as her purpled haired brother scooted away from her and replied with a "I've been fine," at the situation of Hatsune being upset.

Haku let out a short laugh as she drank some more wine at the expression on the other female's face while she ignored her beer battered onion rings and the other available drinks for the moment. "Good."

The man with the pink hair sighed as he poked his grilled tuna that had olive relish on it, the same as what his sister was having, with the fork in his hand. He just couldn't get over the day that he had. It was terrible, and he didn't feel like being at the dinner, but it wasn't completely a legitimate excuse. "...Fine..."

A brunette woman with brown eyes subconsciously moved the glass that she held in her hand in small circle to make the contents that the goblet contained gently swirl around in a counter-clockwise fashion, letting her sweet potato burritos cool down a little. "Meh, I'm okay." She smiled a small smile. "Alive, so I'm okay."

After Rin commented with a "Great," Gumi with an "I'm perfect," Meito with an "I'm well," Kaito answering for he, Len, and Piko that their family was doing well, the female with the pitch black hair allowed her eyes to narrow slightly as she intended to grumble to herself about how she was going to start planning Luka's death all because she didn't say if she wanted to be a part of the girl's collection or not. As one could tell, her conflict with Akaito and Gakuko earlier had not left her in one of the best moods...at all.

"That's great," the woman with the pink hair smiled at everyone before turning her attention to the grumbler. "To answer your question, I rather not," she admitted with a chuckle.

Zatsune smiled a smile that seemed like it belonged to Hatsune more than her. "Are you sure?"

"I'm completely sure."

"Damn," she sighed before getting a thought and looked at her sister. "What about my other over there?"

Said twin abruptly halted the spasmodic movement of her arms when she heard that she was being talked about. "What?"

The black haired woman looked back at Luka, the smile still upon her lips. "Can she?"

"Don't ask me," the pink haired woman chuckled, glancing at Hatsune. "I think that's her decision..."

"What? I'm soooooooooooooooooooo confuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuused ..."

"Wanna be a part of my collection, Hatsune~?"

The girl rolled her aquamarine irises up in thought. She didn't have a clue what her twin was talking about, but... "Okay~!" It didn't hurt to accept, right? She wasn't meaning anything by 'my collection'...was she?

The other female shot her arms up in the air, her hands in loose fists, as she let out a happy "Yes!"

"Zatsune," the purple haired woman interrupted. "I wouldn't mind being part of your collection..."

Being the addressed person, the female with black hair looked over at Gakuko; her eyes slightly wide while Luka, on the other hand, had been taken a back and just downed a glass of wine before getting something more. She had absolutely no idea what the woman was talking about... "What?"

Gakuko shook her head, scooting closer to her brother and resting her hand high on his thigh. "Never mind," she commented with a slight smirk.

"O...kay...?"

Gakupo jumped slightly when he felt a hand on his thigh. Who the hell would do that? He looked over at his left and glared at the person next to him. Of course it would be her... "Knock it off!" He commanded, pushing his sister's hand away from him before looking back over to his right to continue his conversation with Rin.

The woman with purple hair shrugged it off, turning her attention back to the black haired Miku to flirt with her some more. "I'll take good care of you..."

Poor Zatsune was so terribly confused about what the other was meaning that she just stared at Gakuko, making no other movements. "Um...okay?"

"Len," Kaito whispered. "Remind Piko to never go near her by himself," he added while he stared at the purple haired woman. He was too busy concentrating on her that he didn't even notice that their son was already sitting on his mother's lap, let alone the plate with the boy's food on it (pizza with cut banana pieces and chocolate sauce on it).

"Daddy," Piko exclaimed. "I'm right here! I just don't get why..."

The blue haired man looked to his right, finally seeing his son, and gave the boy a small, gentle smile while ruffling his long hair. "There'll be a lot of things you won't get, Piko," he responded. "This's one of the minor ones."

With a _very_ curious expression, slightly wide eyes, and interest sparkling in them and all, the child stared at his father. "What does 'minor' mean?"

((|))((|))

Luki noticed something different about his sister when he looked over at her during dessert. Then he noticed the multiple bottles and glasses. "...What all have you had already?"

"Luka, you okay?" Hatsune asked in a worried voice when she heard the pink haired man.

The older woman chuckled. "Comple'ly fi'n," she slurred and began to purposely sway side to side. She was obviously drunk.

"Luka..."

"Lalalalalalalalalaaa~"

"Luka…!"

Grabbing a bottle of sake, the pink haired female narrowed her eyes at her sibling and girlfriend. "Coo' yur guyz's non-existent tats!" she exclaimed. "I'm fine!" With that, the woman started to guzzle down the liquid out of the bottle.

A certain female with short brown locks and eyes, when she noticed Luka, glared at the other woman as she drank. She stood up in a huff, walking over and placing herself between Meito and Akaito, who were sitting across from the pink haired female. Both of them looked up at the brunette with strange expressions on their faces, but they were ignored. She had a different target in mind completely.

Placing her hands on her hips, the woman standing spoke. "…That's _my_ sake, Miss Megurine Luka."

"Thirz plen'ny, Meiku…!" Luka exclaimed and tried to hand over a different bottle of the rice drink to the other woman that she picked up.

Meiko let out an annoyed tsk and pushed away the other's hand before snatching the opposite bottle. "You keep that bottle and I'll keep mine, thank you," she growled then took a swig of the liquid.

The pink haired woman rolled her eyes while she opened the bottle in her hand that her friend refused and took a drink of it after she said, "Wha'eh'er."

Suddenly there was a yell of the word mine and a loud thud from the tabletop being smacked. Everyone in the room turned their attention in the direction the noises came from. Not being all too surprised at the scene before them, they all turned back to their business. Though, when the chaos became louder it was a bit harder.

"Back off, bitch!" Kaito yelled as he yanked on the ice cream bowl him and his brother were both holding onto.

Akaito tackled his older brother after the dish hit the floor with a loud crash and they continued to struggle. Len sighed and face palmed at the actions of the two males. This was so childish that it wasn't even funny. "Guys…seriously, it's on the floor. Give it up."

Of course, the blonde male was ignored and they continued to fight.

Meito rolled his eyes and grabbed the sake bottle from his sister as she muttered to herself with a smirk. He shook the container to hear how much was left inside. Sure he might've pissed her off severely, but he was bored! Her reaction might help ease it.

The female brunette took a short moment before she jerked her head towards her little brother, watching him as he stood up. "The hell was that, you jackass?!" she shouted. Meiko threw a punch and spoke again. "That fuckin' bottle is _mine_ you little fucker of a motherfucking brother!"

He was able to dodge the punch and run away from his sister and the table. "Fuck you, sis!" he hollered, shaking his hand with the bottle grasped within it when he stopped by the china cabinet. Meito then added before he gave a pelvic thrust, "This's _my_ fucking sake now! I _own_ this shit!"

That was when all of the lights in the room went out.

Startled noises escaped from different vocals, but all went dead silent when there was a scream that rang out through the whole room.


End file.
